Tag Archives: family

She

From someplace far away, the wind carries the sound of her laughter to me. It is fresh; like the sound of waves crashing on a tumultuous night. It’s childish: like a naughty kid who’s hidden all the sweets in her mouth. It’s beautiful and it reminds me of a waterfall, carving its way through rough terrain, to ultimately fall in freedom; like happiness bursting through a dark cave. Some nights, it breaks me down. Others, it gets me through. I believe in magic. I believe in fairies. And she’s the reason I believe in them. Nothing I’ve ever done or had done in the past could tantamount to her presence in my life. Yet here she is; her shadow looming over like a barrier, a shield to protect me from all the badness there exists.

The way she smells, the way she her eyes scan my face for a give away, the way her hand still feels bigger in mine, the way pearls fall out from her eyes when she cries, the way her eyebrows resemble the crescent moon when she gets angry, the way her hands produce magical, sparkly trails when she talks excitedly; everything about her is poetic and symmetrical. Everything is magical. She leaves my bedside and leaves fairy dust behind. I know in every moment, that she is my everything. She is my universe, my life, my love, my heart, the essence in me, my being. As a person, she is my best friend, my mentor, my support system, my roots. She is the sole reason of my existence. She is my God, my religion, my faith, my belief, my voice, my breath. She runs in my blood, in my tears and in everything I am.

She, is more than anything in the galaxies. She, is my mum.

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9th September, 1995.

I remember meeting her for the first time on Earth on 9th September 1995. She was all tiny, pink and..well..gooey :s I remember mum shoving this pink..thing in my face and going all, “Colonel, this is yours now. Protect it with your life”.

Soon, the pink tiny thing grew up and I stood in front of it like a barrier with the connotion that it was my integral responsibility to protect and take care of her. She underwent mutation from pink candy floss to this delicate buttery color. I called her “Amul” after the famous dairy brand, also the largest one in India.

And hence she came to be known as Anmol. Or priceless.

And I loved her. To the bit. Every last decree. To me, she was the single most beautiful thing after my mother.

I remember bashing dudes up when she was in prep and then when she was in KG and then nursery. I also remember telling her make belief stories about how I always took care of her and loved her, just to make her my servant for a day or two.

We’re opposites. As opposites as opposites can be. She’s practical, i’m more of the “yay-this-pseudo-icecream-tastes-awesome-man”. She’s one of those people that think that the single most important thing in her life is IIT. I’m one of them “yay let’s put this insect on this frog’s tongue so it doesn’t have to work and spend energy”. She’s those frugal, totally choosy people and i’m one of the, “OOooh look Tom cat soft toy. Oh big shit it costs 1495. But it’s imperative I buy it RIGHT NOW for you never know when the Earthquake that could possibly kill us is gonna take place man. Pleaaaaase I just HAVE to buy this”.

 But I guess that is what makes my bond with her special. She’s the one who’ll hold me back and tell me that ice creams give a bad cold, that career is more important than people or frogs and that I don’t really belong to a gold merchant/diamond merchant family and thus cannot waste precious money on Tom cat soft toys. She’s the kind who looks at me when I cry and goes, “I need to pick up the CD that contains the chapter about Phenols and Alcohols”.

Our conversations are…vague. VERY vague. We have this ritual we sometimes follow when we’re on phone with each other.

Me: (in the middle of some conversation with her) “HELLOOO??”

Her: “Ya say na!”

Me: (hears everything perfectly) “HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO?”.

Her: “Helloooooooooooo??”

Me: “HELLLOOOOO???”

Her: “HELLLLLLLLOOOO?”

And this follows for the next 10 minutes where we pointlessly screaming “HELOOOO” into the phone even though we hear the other one perfectly well.

We also love modifying names.

I remember this AD on TV about Huggies diapers and there was this baby called ‘Dinku’ in it.

For some crazy reasoning of the cerebrum, we modified it to “Dengue”.

Similarly, our puppy, Ebony became Booz (Ebony->Ebooooo->Boooz)

Or Dhanya became Dhaniya. And then we went on to imagine what her (Dhanya) brother would be called (Saag) or her mother (paalak) or her dad (Kung PAo Chicken) :s

Often times, we would indulge in deep conversations pertaining to worldy issues, something on the lines of:

“So, every cloud has a silver lining”.

“Damn. Silver is expensive”

“Even Bold4 man”.

“I don’t like mushrooms man. They’re so fungii-ey”

“Mushrooms have proteins!”

“I need a glass of citric acid. HAHA GEDDIT? CITRIC ACID?”.

Both: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA CITRIC ACID. Like FLIPPITY FLOP FLIPPITY FLOP”.

 

We both are a bit of adventurers in a way. I remember this one time when we lied to mumma & went to Mad over donuts. We felt like superheroes that day, being able to go to someplace without mum’s prior permission. Then sometimes, we do our mini getaways. Like chill with each other ONLY for some time over coffee from Coffee beans and tea leaves, then make our way to marine drive or a catch up on a movie or just salads. And we talk. Senseless, emotional and everything else we deem important.

Yes, thugging our parents, constant lying, covering up for each other, cleaning up each other’s mess always happened. And through all those hours/days/weeks that we did not talk to each other, our bond continued to grow strong.

She’s my bestest friend, my secret diary, my saviour and the shoulder I always turn to when I need to cry. No one ever has or will take her place. I know she’s one person I can always be myself around and even though I carry alot of baggage with me, she’s one person who always helps me carry it. And that’s what makes this big bad world seem ‘ok’ for a while.

She’s been my ardent guide and always has my back, as do I, hers. For me, she embodies strength. She stands by our family and pacifies everyone during a dispute, stands by each one of us when we need supoort and strength and when I fail to act mature and handle a crisis, she takes over my responsibilities and ensures me a good night’s sleep.

She has the most beautiful smile i’ve seen and she smiles with her heart. I know how hard the last few months have been for her with me moving out to Pune and mum getting admitted in the hospital and I adore and admire her for the courage with which she confronted everything. Yes, she’s human and i’m lucky she trusts me to the point where she can break down in front of me and expect nothing in return.

This is to the gift God gave me, to the companion I always look up to, to the woman of substance:

Anmol, I love you and I respect you for everything you are and you are not. And as you take on the world at 16, I wish you all the happiness and luck you need and even more!

She might have grown up to turn 16 for the world, but for me, she’s still the pink little thing that did not once bother opening her eyes when I picked her up. She’s still that Prep school kid I always bashed up children for when they irritated her. She’s still that gleaming face who holds back tears when I leave for Pune everytime.

Here’s wishing you, little kid sister, an awefully late Birthday. (and this is also your gift. Do not expect anything else -.- )

 

With love,

Dee :)

 

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