Ahhh choler cascade time.
I’m honestly sick:
Of the fights.
Of the lectures.
Of the taunts.
Of the abuses.
Of missing someone knowing there’s no way they’re gonna come back.
Of being confused all the fucking time.
Of these sucky joints.
Of the 25 age limit.
Of being a let down.
Of waiting for nothing.
Of weird whims during the rains.
Of my BB. (I swear I’m deactivating my bbm next month)
Of my dreams that haunt me even when I’m up.
Of being told that I’m good for nothing.
Of being told that I’m a looser.
Of being tired of life.
Of getting pissed at everything
Of living in constant fear
Of living in constant denial.
Of being frustrated all the time.
Of finding no way out of the shit I got myself into.
Of being the only one who cares about myself.
Of having no voice to opine.
Of the voices in my head.
Of loosing hope faster than I loose my mind (wouldn’t mind it the other way round)
Of going through the ordeal to find strength in me to get through every day.
Of everything happy
Of happy people
Of living up to people’s expectations
Of not living up to people’s expectations
Of being forced to talk to people I don’t want to
Of being forced to talk when I don’t want to.
Of being the centre of sympathy.
Of being uselessly judged.
Of not being able to let go of the past.
Of answering to everyone
Of long heavy conversations
Of doing what others want me to & not what I want to.
Of being good to someone I don’t want to be good to
Of playing a fucking song on loop just cause it let’s me reminisce the past
Of feeling awfully hungry at 2 40am
I don’t need anything you see? I don’t need a fucking best friend or a bleeding lover or anyone.
I need to breathe. I don’t want to talk to anyone for the longest time. I want to sink into a nicotine cesspool forever. I want to listen to metal all day long & not get up from the bed. I want to forget everyone in Mumbai. I want a break from this ugly whore of Mumbai. I don’t want to give anyone any explanation. I’m tired of being tired, tired of holding on, Tired of staying around but one day I’ll be gone.
Fuck this shit rhymes.